Story Notes

Jany Went Over (2025)

This story started as a reflection on a nightlight in a bathroom, seen through the eyes of a fictional narrator coming to grips with the act they are about to commit. The glow of that light became the starting point for a mind circling through memories that are reduced to a single verdict. It’s the narrator building a case to convince themselves the act is inevitable.

I wonder if the narrator wants to leap off the edge from the Vonnegut quote? Maybe to see all kinds of things you can’t see from the edge? Was the edge to much?

In my first draft, it looked like a suicide note. I didn’t want it to be that. But maybe it is the narrator’s to some extent.

My intent was to include the narrator’s mind narrowing from their memories into the claustrophobia of the act. It ends with a bitter recognition. But what is the failure. I did not necessarily mean it to be the act failed, though it can be interpreted that way. I liked how the ending became ambiguous. The last line may be what is over the edge; the afterlife, and it sucks

In my writing group, one person commented that they didn’t know the age of the narrator. I loved that observation. It echos Vonnegut's quote - being near the edge lets you see things differently . At the edge, the life cycle may seem clear enough to apply a verdict.

Below, I briefly touch on the narrator's possible age. My comments aren't meant to be exhaustive. I welcome different interpretations.

The story may be a teen voice imanagining old age as hopeless or an old voice looking back, remembering youth as hopeless.

The narrator is a teenager. The emotional weight of observing decline and projecting it onto themselves moves the narrator from the center to the edge - maybe to try to gain clarity. However, they may not get that clarity. They interpret aging as inevitable diminishment. Their observations provides no escape from the increasing emotional heaviness they carry. They are exhausted beyond their years.

The narrator is someone in late adulthood writing from the perspective of their age. They may have lived through life's phases but, near the end, their memory collapses, not into nuanced wisdom, but stripped-down clarity. Life is sucked dry of possibility, leaving only exhaustion. Their view ends up being the same as a teenager, but it's not immaturity, it is distilled clarity that removes illusions. They are bitter at the end and see themselves as a failure.

There is an element of personal experience in this story, though the story is fictional. Alone with a nightlight. Alone in a bathroom. Alone with thoughts. Alone with a choice.

I’ve enjoyed hearing the varying interpretations of this story, and I hope you enjoy your own.

Read “Jany Went Over” here → Link coming soon